A Series of Unfortunate Events
Honestly - I have no one, but myself, to blame. All I can say is, be better Kylie!!
OK. So, let’s start at the end and then build from there: I broke my foot.
Like, legit - broke it.
I bet your wondering, “how Kylie, HOW!? *palm to face*”
Setting the mood
It was 3am.
I was asleep.
Suddenly, I hear the MOST obnoxious, fast, and repetitive doorbell; In my sleepy daze, I stand up as quickly as I can (to make the doorbell stop and get back to sleep AFAP - ‘As Fast As Possible’). Instead of stepping on the bottom/sole of my foot like a normal human above the age of 1, I stepped on the top of my left foot with my left-most three toes (as if I wanted to use the floor to crack my toes #AhVisual) placing all of my weight on the top of my left foot.
Unbeknownst to me ATM, I shattered my fifth metatarsal.
Through the sleepiness and pain, I limped to the door while telling myself “don’t cry, don’t cry. It’s fine. I'm fine – pain is just weakness leaving the body.” in my head.
I got to the door, opened it, and with very blurred vision saw fluorescent lights and no shady person disrespecting my doorbell.
I shut the door, proceeded to limp back to the couch - and it was at that point that I realized it was the GOT DOM TV: some fictional character was ferociously ringing a doorbell on my TV screen.
Anyway, between me forgetting how to walk properly and shutting the front door, I had acquired a green bruise and a bump the size of a golf ball was forming on the side of my left foot. #That’sUnfortunate
Somehow, I fell back asleep only to wake up 5 hours later to a throbbing, purple, baseball-sized bump on the same side of my left foot.
Three x-rays, two friends, and one shameful walk down a very short hall way later – I made it to an urgent care center only to leave with what I hoped was a pulled ligament, but instead a toe up foot.
About 4 days before I broke my foot, while I was driving, I randomly thought to myself
“wow! You know what’s interesting? I haven’t gotten hurt (broken bone, sprained ankle, torn ligament) for a while – probably since I was in high school… so what? Like three years? SHOOT! It must be because I’m 20 - You know, mature adult and all. I’m also not putting myself in any position to break a bone or tear a ligament. I mean, I work out but I’m not out here doing drills and rollin’ in dirt anymore”
The Punch Line
I don’t have a doorbell.
. . .
The Take Away(s)
1. You’re never “too mature” to break a bone.
2. Even when you say things in your head, life has a way of hearing it (somehow) and showing you what’s what.
And possibly, the most important take away: Turn your TV off BEFORE you go to bed.
But that’s according to me,